


The Red Room

by MirrorMystic



Series: With(in) You [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Recovery, post-KH2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 22:06:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16049507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MirrorMystic/pseuds/MirrorMystic
Summary: Kairi is the third prison Namine has ever known. One she entered willingly, and the kindest by far. But still a prison, nonetheless.At least, until Kairi has anything to say about it.





	The Red Room

**Author's Note:**

> My humble contribution to a pair of underappreciated tags. I hope you all enjoy the read. ^^

~*~  
  
There is a ghost in Kairi’s room.  
  
She can feel her, in a tingle down her spine or a flutter in her heart. She can smell her, in the earthy scent of charcoal and paper, cinnamon, vanilla, honeysuckle, a sharp contrast to the salty sea breeze. Sometimes, she can hear her, when she’s in the mood to talk-- which isn’t often. Sometimes, when Kairi’s laying in bed and staring up at the ceiling fan so intensely she swears she’s gone cross-eyed, and the whole world just seems to melt away…  
  
Sometimes, she can see her, a lone point of white in a sea of black, a solitary star in the vast night sky.  
  
“Namine?” Kairi calls, into her empty room. In the sea of her soul, Namine glances up, melancholy.  
  
_Why am I here?_ Namine asks. _What do you want from me?_  
  
Kairi isn’t sure what to say.  
  
“What do you mean?” she asks. “I don’t--”  
  
_Everyone wants something from me._ Namine hugs her knees to her chest, her eyes heavy lidded. _I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t. I would have disappeared into you. And it would have been over. So tell me, Kairi. What do you want from me?_ _  
__  
_ “I don’t know!” Kairi throws her hands up. “I guess I just… want you to exist.”  
  
Namine meets Kairi’s eyes across the void, her eyes haunted, hollow.  
  
_Why?_  
  
Kairi doesn’t know what to say to that.  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi spends the next day with Namine on her mind, in more ways than one. Namine’s quiet, but Kairi hasn’t yet learned her different kinds of quiet. She goes through the motions of going to class, preoccupied by her new ‘roommate’ of sorts. She spends hours, distracted from her studies, thinking about Namine and _to_ Namine, wishing she would say something back.  
  
The silence is maddening, and frays at Kairi’s nerves. Finally, after she’s packed up her textbooks and is on her way out the door, she sees it-- the white light, like a star, on the very edge of her vision.  
  
_What do you want?_  
  
“Namine!” Kairi blurts out, earning her a few odd looks from her classmates. She clears her throat, and walks briskly out the door, shouldering her school bag.  
  
_Namine_ , she repeats, in her head. _There you are. I thought I’d lost you._  
  
_No, I’m… still here._  
  
Kairi’s lip curls in sympathy to the gloomy tinge to Namine’s voice. But her elation that Namine hasn’t just disappeared flicks over into annoyance.  
  
_So, it’s the silent treatment, then? I was hoping we could be friends._  
  
_Sure,_ Namine says, and the depth of her bitter sarcasm almost stops Kairi in her tracks. _We’re stuck together. We might as well get along, right?_ _  
__  
__Uh, yeah. Right!_ _  
__  
_ Namine sighs, long and low. Kairi feels her melancholy settle deep in her chest.  
  
_I’m used to speaking only when spoken to_ , Namine says. _But you can’t_ ** _make_** _me talk._ _  
__  
_ Anger flicks across Kairi’s senses, and she clenches her fists. In her mind’s eye, the mote of white light flickers and shrinks away.  
  
_I-I’m sorry_ , Namine whimpers. _Just… please. Please, just leave me alone._  
  
~*~  
  
“So, this friend of yours is giving you the cold shoulder, huh…?”  
  
“Yeah…” Kairi sighs.  
  
“That’s rough.” Riku nods sagely, his arms crossed, before reaching out and laying a fond hand in Kairi’s hair. Kairi pouts, leaning into the touch.  
  
“Now, let’s back up a second,” Sora grins up at the duo from where he’s laying, sprawled across their knees on Riku’s bed, which they continue to stubbornly insist is big enough for all three of them. “Because it _sounds_ like Kairi’s having some boy troubles.”  
  
“ _Sora_ ,” Kairi says wearily.  
  
“Or girl troubles! That’s cool, too!” Sora beams. “Well, who’s the lucky guy? Or girl? Wait, don’t tell me, lemme guess. I bet it’s, uh… Wakka. Oh! Or Selphie!”  
  
“If it was Selphie, she would have told the whole school about it by now,” Kairi rolls her eyes. “And, I mean, Wakka’s nice, but he’s such a…”  
  
“Jock?” Sora asks.  
  
“Meathead?” Riku chimes in.  
  
“Yes, because the two of you are _such_ intellectuals,” Kairi giggles, reaching up and scritching her boys behind the ears. Riku swats her away with a fond grin, but Sora squirms below her like a big puppy. Kairi smiles, quietly wishing Namine could feel even a fraction of the love she does now. “Can we get back to the silent treatment thing? I swear, she just… won’t let me in.”  
  
“So it _is_ a ‘she’?” Riku says, smiling wryly. Kairi thumps him on the arm.  
  
“Well, first things first,” Sora says. “She says she wants to be alone, right? First you gotta figure out if she wants to be alone, or if she wants to be _alone_ alone.”  
  
“What’s the difference?” Riku wonders.  
  
“Well, you know,” Sora goes. “Either she wants to be, like, _actually_ alone. Or she says she _wants_ to be alone, but what she’s _really_ saying is she hopes someone will come after her.”  
  
A pause. Kairi blinks.  
  
“...Wow,” she says. “Sora, that was actually… pretty insightful.”  
  
Sora preens, settling into Riku’s lap. “Well, I know all about relationships, so…”  
  
Riku scoffs. “Oh, sure, _you’re_ the expert, Sora. You know _all_ about love.”  
  
“Whatever, Riku! I know things!”  
  
They laugh, together. Riku pulls Sora up and kisses him on the forehead like a precocious child. Sora rolls his eyes and gives Riku a playful slap on the cheek. Kairi scrambles out of the way as the two start tussling like a pair of twelve-year-olds, watching them playfight with the utmost fondness.  
  
Kairi gasps. For a moment, just a moment, she sees blonde hair and a white dress out of the corner of her eye. She turns, and swears she sees a glimpse of striking blue eyes. But then she watches two motes of dust adrift in the sunlight streaming through Riku’s window, and Namine is gone.  
  
~*~  
  
“Namine?”  
  
Kairi calls out, to an empty room. She sits up in bed, taking in the familiar sights of her closet, her bookshelf, her wallpaper in a deep russet the color of sunset. When the light hits her room just right, the walls seem to glow, as if lit by a roaring hearth. Kairi can’t really imagine Namine appearing in that kind of light, so pale and ghostlike.  
  
“Namine,” Kairi tries again. “Please, come out. I just want to talk.”  
  
Kairi’s eyes light upon her dresser, and the vanity above. A thought strikes her, and she shimmies off the edge of her bed, grabs a chair, and plops down in front of the counter, gazing up into the mirror.  
  
“Namine,” Kairi says, speaking to her reflection and feeling just a little bit silly. “Namine, you know I’m desperate when I have to go asking Sora and Riku for advice. Please, come out?”  
  
Nothing. Kairi sighs, beseeching her own reflection.  
  
“Namine, please,” she says. “I saw you, at Riku’s house. I saw you in the light. You looked so… lonely. And I want to do something about that, if I can. Please…?”  
  
The silence just seems to stretch on forever. Outside Kairi’s window, the sun dips below the horizon, and the last ribbons of red and gold begin to fade from the night sky.  
  
“Namine,” Kairi whispers. “Do you remember when we met, in the Castle That Never Was? I was trapped. I was scared. You took me by the hand and pulled me out of that dark place. Please, let me try to do that for you, too. I mean, it’s only fair.”  
  
Kairi gazes into the mirror until the moon comes out, painting her vivid crimson room in black and white. Kairi takes a deep breath, and sighs, laying her head down on her dresser.  
  
“Namine…” she murmurs.  
  
“I’m here.”  
  
Kairi snaps her gaze up to the mirror above her, before whirling around in her seat.  
  
Namine is there, cast in a moonbeam like a spotlight on a stage, her hands primly clasped at her waist, gazing sullenly at the floor. Kairi squeals in delight and dives at her, before passing through her ghostly form and awkwardly falling onto her bed. Namine blinks, puzzled.  
  
“...What are you doing?”  
  
Kairi runs a hand through her hair, too happy to be embarrassed.  
  
“I’m hugging you, obviously,” Kairi says. “Or I _would_ be, if you were… solid. But anyway, Namine, it’s-- it’s good to see you. Out here, I mean. Every time you go quiet, I just get worried…”  
  
“What?” Namine asks, her voice icy. “That I’ve _escaped_?”  
  
“What? No!” Kairi stares at her. “Namine… you keep pushing me away. I like you. I’d like to be your friend. If you just talked to me, maybe I could help you--”  
  
“You _can’t_ ,” Namine snaps. Kairi grits her teeth, stubborn.  
  
“Well, why not?” she demands.  
  
“Because there’s nothing to help!” Namine cries. “I’m nothing. I’m nobody--”  
  
“That’s not true!”  
  
“It is!” Namine hisses. “I don’t have my own heart. I don’t have my own body. I barely even have my own memories-- I just have echoes of Sora’s while we were connected, and they’re not even mine. I don’t have anything of my own! All I have is anger and melancholy and loneliness and it hurts, Kairi! It hurts, and it’s not fair!”  
  
Kairi stares at her, helpless. She reaches for Namine’s hands, but her fingers pass right through.  
  
“Namine,” she whispers. “What can I do?”  
  
“You can’t do anything,” Namine shakes her head. “All I have is hurt. All I am, is hurt. And now that I’m part of you, that pain is part of you, too.”  
  
The impotent frustration in Namine’s voice drains away to a somber quiet. She blows out a sigh, before reluctantly sitting on Kairi’s bed. Kairi wants to put an arm around her, but she feels nothing but empty air, and a white glow where she passes through Namine’s form.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Namine murmurs. She mimes leaning into Kairi’s shoulder, but neither of them can feel a thing. “You’re stuck with me, and it’s not fair. You shouldn’t have to feel this way.”  
  
“Neither should you,” Kairi urges.  
  
Their eyes meet, Namine’s gaze brimming with such yawning despair that it makes Kairi’s heart ache. She pulls Namine into an embrace, or tries to, at least. Namine disappears inside her in a flash of white light, and, true to her word, her frustration and despair comes with her. Kairi shudders, feeling the swell of spiraling negativity course through her veins, feeling the echo of Namine’s resignation.  
  
_You can’t help me_ , Namine whispers.  
  
Kairi feels tears prick her eyes. She hugs herself, wondering if Namine can feel her arms around her. Kairi takes a deep breath, and meets her own gaze in the mirror, her despair morphing into a stubborn resolve.  
  
“Just you watch.”  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi spends the following week determined to have fun, knowing, by proxy, that that would mean Namine is having fun, too. She spends time at the beach, the library, the ice cream parlor. Sora’s slightly put out by Kairi’s sudden insistence on ‘alone time’, but given that he’s been hanging off of Riku’s arm ever since they got back from the Dark Margin, a little clinginess was to be expected. Riku, on the other hand, isn’t above giving Kairi a hard time.  
  
“So, where is this alleged girlfriend?” Riku teases, as they make their way down the tiny, one-block shopping district on the island.  
  
“Okay, first of all, she’s not ‘alleged’, she’s real,” Kairi insists, rolling her eyes. “Second of all--”  
  
“Alright, if she’s real, then how come we haven’t seen her?” Sora grins, his hands behind his head.  
  
Kairi’s eyes flick guiltily over her shoulder, to Namine’s glowing form, meekly following the trio just a few steps behind.  
  
_Yeah, why is that?_ Kairi wonders.  
  
_They can’t see me_ , Namine says softly. _Or hear me. And I don’t know if they would remember me, even if they could._ _  
__  
_ “It’s probably because she’s embarrassed,” Riku’s voice drifts back into Kairi’s ears.  
  
“What? C’mon, Riku, I bet she’s a great girl.”  
  
“No, of _us_ , you doofus.”  
  
“Oh, stop,” Kairi cuts in. “Nothing you two do could ever embarrass me.”  
  
“Wanna bet?” Sora asks, making a face. Kairi laughs, claps a hand over his face and shoves him away.  
  
“As I was saying,” Kairi continues. “She’s real. And she’s _not_ my girlfriend. Honestly, even calling us friends might be a little much.”  
  
“Well, you know what they say about girlfriends and girl friends,” Riku chimes in. “The only difference is that little space between.”  
  
“Who says that?”  
  
“I do, Sora, wanna fight about it?”  
  
“No fighting,” Kairi says, rolling her eyes with the utmost fondness. “Anyway, Riku, if that’s true, then how do I go about bridging that space?”  
  
“I dunno. Chocolate?”  
  
“No, no, no, you’re way overthinking this,” Sora cuts in. “You just gotta start with the basics. You know, stuff like ‘what are your hobbies’? ‘What’s your favorite color’?”  
  
“Hey, Sora, what’s your favorite color?” Kairi teases.  
  
“Red,” Sora says with a wink.  
  
Riku rolls his eyes. “...kiss-ass…”  
  
“Whoa, whoa! _Language!_ ”  
  
Riku curls an arm around Sora’s neck and starts vengefully mussing Sora’s hair, Sora swatting him away.  
  
“Okay, okay! Yellow’s pretty cool, too…!”  
  
Kairi laughs, a comfortable warmth rising in her chest. But then she stops short, glancing up at the sign over the craft store with a thoughtful expression.  
  
Riku bumps an elbow against hers, nodding up at the sign.  
  
“Thinking of a little DIY?” he asks.  
  
Kairi purses her lips. She glances behind her, ostensibly to see where Sora ran off to, and briefly meets Namine’s gleaming blue eyes.  
  
“Maybe,” Kairi murmurs, and smiles.  
  
That night, after Kairi’s kissed her boys goodbye and is settling in to bed with a good book, she sees that familiar mote of white light on the edge of her vision.  
  
_May I come out?_ Namine asks.  
  
“Huh? Of course!” Kairi beams.  
  
Namine materializes out of the moonlight, curled up on Kairi’s bed beside her. Like the moon, she doesn’t shine quite as bright as the sun-- her smile is softer, subtler, but still unmistakably a smile. A sudden warmth blooms in Kairi’s chest.  
  
“Hey,” Kairi says gently. “How are you liking the book? We’re almost to the part where Ser Astra and Sister Genevuire fight a giant dragon!”  
  
“It’s nice, but um…” Namine’s smile turns sheepish. “...I sort of… know the ending already. It’s still in your memories.”  
  
“Huh? Oh, no!” Kairi wails. She claps a hand over her face. “Spoiled by my own brain! That’s no way to read a book!”  
  
“Maybe if we picked one you haven’t read before…?” Namine offers.  
  
“Guess we need to head back to the library,” Kairi smiles. She gives Namine a friendly nudge with her elbow. It passes right through her with a flash of white, but Namine smiles, nonetheless. “Hey. How are you feeling?”  
  
“Better,” Namine says, gazing out at something far away. “...A lot… better than I could have hoped for, really.”  
  
“That’s great!” Kairi coos. “Then-- then we gotta keep it up! We can go back to the library, pick out a great new fantasy series. We can go stuff our faces with ice cream, we can go swimming, we can go see Sora and Riku--” Kairi stops short, making a face. “U-Unless that would be weird. I mean, can you feel what I feel, when we…? Not that we, y’know, have _plans_ , but…”  
  
“I feel the echo of your affection for them,” Namine explains, her cheeks tinting red. “But it’s not quite as intense. I feel like… they could be my friends.”  
  
“They are your friends,” Kairi insists.  
  
“They’re _your_ friends,” Namine sighs. “I’m just the echo.”  
  
Kairi pouts, but doesn’t have a rebuttal. Her hand passes through Namine’s when she tries to hold it, shining white where her fingers pass through. Namine mimes holding her hand anyway.  
  
“Listen, Kairi,” Namine murmurs. “I… appreciate what you’re trying to do. I like having ice cream with you. I like reading with you. I even like cuddling with--”  
  
Namine catches herself, makes a face. “...with… your friends. I’m happy that you’re sharing these experiences with me, but they’re still _your_ experiences, not mine. I can only follow in your shadow. I don’t have anything of my own.”  
  
“...See, about that...” Kairi grins. She reaches down beside her bed and pats the wrapped bundle sitting in its gift bag. “I have an idea.”  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi takes to her new DIY project with single-minded determination. Sora and Riku both visit her over the weekend, on separate occasions, each time offering their help. The first time around, Sora attempts to assemble a desk, and probably does more harm than good. When Riku comes by, later that day, he just shakes his head and starts from scratch.  
  
Namine is strangely quiet throughout all this. The light in Kairi’s peripheral vision seems distant, faint. But she can still feel Namine, somewhere inside her. Kairi shrugs and assumes that Namine is, essentially, asleep; and that’s just as well, because it means this project can be a surprise.  
  
And _what_ a surprise. It takes her all weekend, but when Kairi’s finally finished, and has had time to wash the paint from her hands, she meets her own gaze in the mirror, and takes a deep breath.  
  
“Namine?” she calls.  
  
Namine appears behind her in a gleam of white, eyes downcast. She gasps as she looks up, a hand clutching her heart.  
  
“Surprise!” Kairi beams, throwing open her arms. “You’re half of me, so you deserve half of my room. It’s your room, too, after all! I built you-- okay, _Riku_ built you a desk. But I got you a new sketchbook, and a bunch of other art supplies. Your desk is right by the window, so you’ll have plenty of light when you draw. And I gave your half of the room a fresh coat of paint-- now it’ll go perfect with your nice white dress!”  
  
Kairi squeals, wrapping herself in a hug.  
  
“Well, what do you think, huh? Namine?”  
  
Kairi whirls around--  
  
\--and the smile vanishes from her face.  
  
Kairi had thought she’d feel satisfied. Proud. Instead, Namine’s clenching her fists, fighting tears, and Kairi doesn’t know what to say. Her first instinct is to wrap Namine in a hug-- but her arms pass uselessly through Namine’s luminous form.  
  
“You’re not at all like my other keepers,” Namine says, sinking down into her nice, white chair.  
  
“Namine,” Kairi whispers, urgent. “Namine, what’s wrong?”  
  
Namine shudders, reaching up and swiping at her eyes with the heel of her palm. “...You’re kind, Kairi. So kind. You care about me...”  
  
Kairi hugs the back of Namine’s chair, watching the other girl’s thin shoulders tremble with every stifled sob.  
  
“I don’t understand,” Kairi pleads, her heart aching. “Isn’t that a good thing?”  
  
“It’s _worse_ ,” Namine chokes out. “It’s so much _worse_...”  
  
“What did I do?” Kairi begs. “Namine, I’m so sorry, but I don’t understand. Please, talk to me…”  
  
“No, you don’t understand! _You_ ** _don’t_** _understand!_ ” Namine shrieks. “You’re a good person, Kairi, and you’re trying so hard, but _you can’t help me_! You **_can’t_**!”  
  
Kairi reaches up, swipes her arm across her eyes. It’s all she can do just to whisper Namine’s name.  
  
“...Namine…” she murmurs, reaching out. Her fingers shine as they blur the edges of Namine’s luminous form.  
  
Namine recoils as if burned.  
  
“Don’t touch me! Leave me alone! Just _leave me alone_!”  
  
Kairi shakes her head, tears falling free.  
  
“...I can’t,” she whispers.  
  
Her arms close around Namine’s trembling frame-- and she merges back into Kairi in a flash of white.  
  
Immediately, the tidal wave of Namine’s grief crashes upon the shores of Kairi’s soul. Her knees hit the carpet and she’s gasping, suffocating under the crushing weight of Namine’s pain-- helpless anger, maddening loneliness, frustration, fear, and despair. In an instant, Kairi knows the truth of Namine’s words: in the short span of her existence, she’s been caged, used, and forgotten. All she’s known is pain. All she _is_ , is pain. Kairi feels like a solitary star before the vast emptiness of space. The light in her eyes flickers, and goes dark. Kairi kneels on all fours on the floor of her bedroom, her arms trembling, her shoulders buckling beneath the monstrous weight of Namine’s suffering.  
  
“Namine…!” Kairi croaks out, her throat tight with grief. “I’m here. I’m here, Namine! I’m here with you! What can I do?! Tell me what I can do!”  
  
She reaches up, instinctively clutching at her heart. A white light shines between her fingers.  
  
_You can’t help me_ , Namine whispers.  
  
The tidal wave of feeling comes crashing down.  
  
Kairi screams. She crumples to the floor of her bedroom, and she and Namine cry themselves to sleep.  
  
~*~  
  
The next time she sees the boys, Kairi doesn’t have the heart to talk.  
  
She weathers through Sora’s doting and Riku’s concern without saying a word, merely sliding in between them and cocooning herself in their arms. Sora keeps asking her about the redness in her cheeks and the bags under her eyes, but Riku gets the hint, and changes the subject.  
  
Sora and Riku talk quietly above Kairi’s head, Sora’s arm around her waist, Riku’s hand in her hair. When Kairi takes a shuddering breath and smears silent tears into Riku’s sheets, the boys pull in closer without another word.  
  
The hours melt away. Riku’s drowsily running his fingers up Kairi’s arm, and Kairi’s pretty sure Sora’s already dozed off, his cheek pressed into her shoulder. She sighs, wistful.  
  
_Are you here, Namine?_ Kairi asks.  
  
The white light appears, on the very edge of Kairi’s vision.  
  
_I’m here._  
  
_Can you feel them?_  
  
Sora stirs in his sleep, his arm drawing tighter around Kairi’s waist. Kairi moves up, her head pillowed on Riku’s bicep. He draws her closer, and plants a kiss to her scalp.  
  
_I can._ Namine murmurs. Kairi feels a tug against her pinky, and then phantom fingers twining with her own. _Thank you._  
  
~*~  
  
“Alright!”  
  
The cans thunk onto the floor, and Kairi claps her hands, looking up at the pure white walls on Namine’s side of the room. She paces, her shoes crinkling the plastic tarp laid out on the carpet. She pulls on her gloves, and meets her own eyes in the mirror.  
  
“So,” Kairi begins. “White isn’t your color.”  
  
_It really isn’t_ , Namine murmurs inside her.  
  
“I’m sorry, Namine. I didn’t know,” Kairi says. “And, I mean. You look so _good_ in white.”  
  
Warmth flicks across their cheeks. Namine sounds sheepish. _Oh. Well… thanks._  
  
Kairi smiles, rubbing her hands together in anticipation.  
  
“Anyway. Lucky for us, we’ve got options. What do you say?”  
  
A pause. Kairi feels a phantom thoughtfully tapping at her lips.  
  
_I say we start with blue._ _  
__  
_ “Blue it is, then,” Kairi grins. She thunks the paint can onto a chair and jabs a screwdriver under the thin metal lip. The lid comes off with a pop and a spatter of midnight blue paint on the plastic tarp beneath her. Kairi feels a phantom giggle rumble up her throat.  
  
_I guess that’s what the plastic’s for._  
  
“Yep,” Kairi laughs. “Let’s get a nice little coat, here…”  
  
Kairi dips her wide paintbrush into the can and swirls it around. She taps it against the edge of the can to shake off the excess, reaches towards the wall--  
  
Her hand twitches. Rather than a nice, wide stripe, there’s a broad spatter of blue.  
  
“Hey,” Kairi says, playful. She dips her paintbrush back into the can and swishes it around again.  
  
Kairi feels a sudden tightness in her jaw. She throws her arm to the side, and a wet spray of blue paint smacks across the wall as if from a wound.  
  
“...Namine…” Kairi says, wary, the tightness of her throat turning her name into a growl. She feels a phantom hissing through her teeth, anger flashing across her eyes-- an anger that isn’t her own.  
  
Two more slashes of blue streak across the wall. Kairi’s jaw is so tight with fury that she can’t even speak. Another swipe. Another streak. Kairi hisses, seething in anger.  
  
_Namine…!_ Kairi wants to cry out, but her voice doesn’t obey.  
  
The paintbrush smacks against the wall, leaving a speckled blue stain. It clatters onto the floor. Paint, viscous and cool against her fingers. Color explodes against the stretch of white in gobs, streaks, handprints. She hefts the can in both hands. Namine screams--  
  
“ _Namine!_ ”    
  
The can crashes against the wall and hits the ground with a thud, oozing paint onto the floor. A sea of blue drips down the wall, speckling Kairi’s dresser, the mirror, even the ceiling.  
  
Namine’s luminous form stares up at the wall, clenching and unclenching her fists. She takes a shuddering breath, turns around-- and all the bitten-back fury in her face instantly morphs into fear. She falls back, scrambling away in a panic.  
  
“Kairi!” Namine whimpers, with a fear in her eyes that tears Kairi’s heart in two. “Kairi, I’m sorry, I don’t know what-- please, _please_ don’t be mad--”  
  
“I’m **_not_** \--” Kairi stops short, and takes a deep breath. “...I’m not mad. I have paint all over the place, and a dent in my wall, but I’m not mad.”  
  
Namine stares at her, wary. “...Are… are you sure?”  
  
Kairi blows out a weary sigh. “...Yeah. I’m sure. Come here. Come back.”  
  
“No, no, no, wait!” Namine shrinks away from Kairi’s open arms. She glances down at her clenched fists, the stiffness in her neck. “...I’m… I’m still…” She meets Kairi’s eyes, and shakes her head. “...I don’t want you to feel it.”  
  
Kairi’s lip curls in sympathy. “...Come here, Namine.”  
  
Namine pouts, like a scolded child, before stepping back into Kairi’s form. They merge together in a flash of white.  
  
Kairi shudders, feeling the swell of Namine’s lingering anger reunite with her sea of emotion. Memories flick across Kairi’s eyes-- a white room. A sketchbook. A man in red. A doll in a cage. Knives. Green eyes. A sadistic smile. A hand on her shoulder that sends shivers up her spine.  
  
_Out of all the memories that could be mine_ , Namine seethes, _why does it have to be them?_ _  
__  
_ Once again, Namine’s hurt crashes into Kairi like a tidal wave-- but this time, Kairi grits her teeth, and weathers the storm.  
  
“Namine!” she calls out, and the waves part, abrupt, like light through the clouds. Namine’s voice re-emerges, timid, tinged with fear.  
  
_I’m sorry_ , Namine whispers. _Are you sure you’re not mad?_ _  
__  
_ “I’m not mad,” Kairi says, to empty air. “I could never be mad at you.”  
  
_Don’t be silly_ , Namine says. _People are mad at themselves all the time._  
  
Kairi doesn’t have the energy to argue the point. She _is_ mad, but not at herself, and certainly not at Namine. There are worthier targets for her anger, by far.  
  
_Kairi?_ Namine wonders, when Kairi’s been quiet for a little too long. _Kairi, are you okay?_ _  
__  
_ “They’re gone.”  
  
Kairi feels her throat grow tight, and hears Namine’s wavering voice in her ear.  
  
_W-What?_  
  
“They’re gone,” Kairi echoes. “The people who did this to you. They’re gone, and I’m here now. I'll...”  
  
Kairi sighs. She glances up at her mirror and smiles.  
  
"I'll always be here. I promise."  
  
A gasp, and a sniffle. _Kairi…!_ _  
__  
_ There’s a breeze through Kairi’s open window that almost knocks her flat. In the fading light, Kairi swears she can feel arms around her, and the warmth of tears smeared into her chest.  
  
“Shh. I’m here,” Kairi whispers. She folds her arms across her chest and hugs herself, feeling the phantom feeling of blonde hair against her lips and a chin tucked over her shoulder. Kairi sighs into the ghostly embrace, before opening her eyes with a grimace, wiggling her fingers.  
  
“...I’m here, and I still have paint all over me…” Kairi mutters, dismayed. She laughs, wiping her hands on a rag. Clumps of drying paint cling to her fingers.  
  
_...Sorry…_ Namine says, sheepish.  
  
“It’s okay,” Kairi whispers tenderly. “We’re okay. Let’s go get cleaned up.”  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi spends the next week with her hands stained blue. She tells her mom that the dent in her wall was a DIY accident involving Sora and an uncooperative chair leg. As for the paint, well, that one she’s forced to blame on her own clumsiness.  
  
The next weekend after what Riku took to calling ‘The Paint Incident’, Kairi invites the boys over to help even out the coat. Namine’s half of the room becomes a vivid midnight blue. Kairi, after a silent agreement that Namine won’t throw off her aim, flicks splatters of white onto the walls. The white dots closer to the floor get touched up into little white flowers blooming in a grassy field. The ones above become stars, glittering in the darkness.  
  
When the paint’s drying and the tarp tucked away, Kairi takes a break on her bed, which is absolutely not big enough for all three of them. She sits up, and gives a little wave to Namine’s ghostly form, sitting at her drawing desk and admiring the new night sky splitting their room in two. Namine’s smile seems to glow in the evening light.  
  
“So, why the sudden redecorating?” Riku finally thinks to ask. “That deep red you had going before was real nice, I thought.”  
  
“Well,” Kairi shrugs, flashing Namine a smile. “I did it for someone special.”  
  
“What, your _girlfriend_?” Sora teases. “Who we _still_ haven’t met?”  
  
“And probably doesn’t even exist?” Riku chimes in.  
  
“You guys,” Kairi rolls her eyes. “She’s not my girlfriend.”  
  
“Allegedly,” Riku says, before Kairi shoves him off the bed.  
  
~*~  
  
The days turn to weeks; the weeks, to months. The languid, lazy days on Destiny Islands seem to stretch on forever. The world is at peace, and, finally, so is Namine.  
  
It takes some getting used to, but she and Kairi settle into a sort of equilibrium. They share the things they can, and separate when they want some time alone-- but they never stray too far away.  
  
Kairi’s mother admonishes her for spending so much time in her room.  
  
“You’re always up there, talking to someone on the phone,” her mother chides. “On and on you go. What’s going to happen to our phone bill, Kairi? Whoever your friend is, she must be quite the chatterbox.”  
  
_Not exactly_ , Namine giggles.  
  
“Not exactly,” Kairi beams. “But I’m lucky to have her.”  
  
Kairi bursts into her room, tosses her school bag aside and flops onto her bed, stretching until she can feel her spine pop like a string of firecrackers. She blows out a contented sigh, sitting up and gazing at herself in the mirror.  
  
“Hey, you,” Kairi says warmly. “What do you want to do today?”  
  
_Draw_ , Namine says, and Kairi can feel her lips twitch upwards in a phantom smile. _There’s a piece I’ve been working on. I was hoping I could get it done tonight._ _You?_ _  
__  
_ “Honestly?” Kairi lays back in bed, a warm ache filling her bones. “After what Master Yen Sid put us through, the only thing I want is a nap.”  
  
_That works for me_ , Namine says. _That way, it’ll be a surprise._  
  
Kairi exhales, as if in a trance. Then Namine takes over, taking a seat at her drawing desk while Kairi dozes off in the back of her mind.  
  
Hours later, Namine nudges Kairi awake, and shows off her newest masterpiece-- the two of them curled up on Kairi’s bed, covered in blankets, huddled over a good book. Kairi squeals with delight and sweeps the drawing off of Namine’s desk, holding it up with pride.  
  
“Oh, Namine, it came out fantastic!” Kairi cries. “We have to put it up!”  
  
Namine steps out of Kairi’s body and mimes sitting at her desk, her luminous form only slightly clipping through her chair. She smiles, watching Kairi’s excitement with the utmost fondness on her face.  
  
“It’s really not all that,” Namine demurs. “If we put them all up, we’ll run out of space.”  
  
“We’re putting it up,” Kairi insists. “With a proper frame and everything.”  
  
“Kairi, it’s not that serious,” Namine giggles. “Tape it up, for all I care.”  
  
“A _frame_ , Nami,” Kairi says, stubborn as ever. “You deserve something made to last.”  
  
Namine watches, warm, as Kairi goes digging through their closet for a frame the right size. Kairi climbs up onto her dresser and mounts it on the wall. It’s right beside the painting bridging the gap between their halves of the room, hanging just above the vanity; a picture of Kairi and Namine, hand in hand, haloed by the brilliant light of Kingdom Hearts.  
  
Kairi sits down in Namine’s chair, Namine merging back into her in a glimmer of white. She leans forward, her elbows on her knees, admiring the view. Namine was right-- at this rate, they were going to run out of room to hang all these framed paintings. They’d need to get another wall. Maybe another room.  
  
Kairi rolls onto her bed, reaches over to her nightstand and retrieves the book waiting there for her-- a riveting fantasy full of swords, muskets, pegasi, and political intrigue. She curls up under the covers, clicks on her booklight, and waits until she can feel Namine settling in behind her eyes before flipping open to where they last left off.  
  
The sun dips below the horizon, filling the sky with ribbons of red and gold. The brilliant sunlight bathes Kairi’s side of the room in a magnificent, dusky crimson. But as the sun slips further down, and the moon comes out, pale silver flicks across Namine’s wall. It catches in the flower petals, painted stars, and framed memories brighter than any Namine’s ever had before. Her wall of paintings is her proof of existence, and they shine like constellations in the pale moonlight.  
  
They stop reading when Kairi feels her jaws stretch in a phantom yawn, at a moment just before the assassins make their move on Commander Drakon’s life. Kairi silently protests about leaving on a cliffhanger, before Namine picks their hand up and reluctantly slips a bookmark into place.  
  
Kairi lays back in bed, gazing up at the wall of paintings before them. She chuckles, eyeing the central painting above their mirror.  
  
“You know… you sure do have a lot of paintings of us holding hands,” Kairi teases. “Or hugging, or cuddling, or being silhouetted by a giant glowing heart…”  
  
“That was when we first met, in the Castle That Never Was,” Namine smirks, appearing beside her in a glimmer of white. “You know that had to be my first one.”  
  
“I’m just saying,” Kairi giggles. “The imagery’s a little… suggestive.”  
  
“Try not to read into it,” Namine says. Her nightgown is a vivid midnight blue, cut through with distant stars. Kairi reaches up, and takes Namine’s hand. Their fingers shine where they touch, partially merging back together.  
  
“How do you feel?” Kairi asks gently. It’s their nightly check-in; Namine will be asking her the same thing in the morning.  
  
“Good,” Namine says.  
  
Kairi nods. “Good.”  
  
Namine chuckles. “...Maybe that’s understating it, a bit. I, um…”  
  
She squirms, uncomfortably sentimental. She rolls over, unable to meet Kairi’s eyes.  
  
“...I don’t know if… I could have done this without you.”  
  
Kairi’s fingers shine as she mimes curling them through Namine’s hair. Namine purrs, leaning into the ghostly touch.  
  
“You couldn’t have done this without _you_ , either,” Kairi muses.  
  
“Are you seeing your boys tomorrow?”  
  
Red flicks across Kairi’s face, and she sputters. “Th-They’re not _my_ boys. And yes, for your information. We’re going to the movies. You can’t project yourself too far away from me, but I’m sure you can catch a movie of your own. I hear ghosts get in for free.”  
  
“What if I want to come with you?” Namine teases. “I could watch Sora’s nerves stop him from putting an arm around you, and Riku treat you like you’re made of glass. And if I stick around long enough, who knows…?”  
  
Kairi laughs, scandalized. “That’s not the show I had in mind…!”  
  
They giggle together, Namine’s outline shimmering. Every touch carries an echo of feeling between them in points of light; every laugh is twice as loud, every smile twice as wide. Kairi pulls Namine into her arms and she settles in against her, Kairi’s arm around her waist, her chin tucked over her shoulder. Light blooms where their bodies make contact, filling Kairi with phantoms against her skin, Namine with a warmth she’s only known by proxy until now.  
  
“Kairi?” Namine murmurs, her eyes closed.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“I love you.”  
  
Kairi’s laughter shivers Namine’s form with light. “You love yourself?”  
  
Namine shakes her head. “Hush…”  
  
There’s an affection in Namine’s heart that’s more than just an echo; and there’s a light in Kairi’s arms that’s more than just a ghost. Namine sighs, tranquil, in Kairi’s embrace; Kairi coos, holding her as close as she can.  
  
She squeezes Namine’s hand, white light between her fingers-- connected, but distinct. Occasionally lonely, but never alone.  
  
In the pale light, Kairi swears she can feel Namine’s hand in hers.  
  
Two hands. One heart.   
  
Two little fingers, linked in a promise.  
  
~*~


End file.
